So, yes, technically Asperger’s doesn’t exist anymore. The latest DSM now classifies this under the Autism spectrum as high functioning autism. However, parents of this awesome group of kids still often refer to it as Asperger’s.
Why these kids are great:
Working with this group of kids is delightful for about a billion reasons. They are crazy smart, often passionate about something so interesting, and can be extremely witty More often than not, they will often give a non-nonsense, “tell it how it is”, kind of perspective. Generally, they see the world a bit differently which is refreshing and honest.
The challenges:
Like all of us, we want to be accepted. However, often times, kids with Asperger’s struggle socially. Many teens have described it as though they were “missing something” when with a group of people. Sarcasm is hard to understand and this leave these kids feeling left out. Similarly, kids with Asperger’s are subject to bullying. This, in return, can put their defenses up high. When over-stimulated by sounds, pressure or bullying, these kids can be quick to lash out- screaming, fighting, name-calling. The behavioral issues that can come up are extremely difficult for parents to manage.
When the stress of social pressure gets to be too much, this kids often retreat and isolate themselves. They can spend hours on the computer and it can even be difficult to get these kids out of their room. They often choose to stay in their comfort zone, making it difficult to family and school to motivate them into doing anything else.
How Counseling Helps:
Typically, parents bring their kids with Asperger’s to counseling hoping for behavioral management. They are hoping for less melt-downs or outbursts, better control of their anger and to be more respectful when ask to do chores or homework. Counseling can help with that. First, however, there must be a connection piece where a therapeutic relationship is built. Until the kids can feel like they can trust their counselor, very little behavior change will happen. It’s absolutely critical to look at the loneliness and isolation that is happening that makes them act with certain behaviors. Then we can start discussed different pieces that may be holding them back socially. Counselors can gently point out when a story is going on for too long- in a way that peers (or even family) may react cruelly. Counselors can give immediate feedback on social cues these kids may miss. Therapists can also walk through ways to manage anxiety or anger, and give them tangible coping skills.
There is so much incredible counseling work that can be done with this population. Finding the right counselor- one with patience, kindness and knowledge on autism is absolutely critical. Once you find the right fit, the change can be meaningful and help the entire family.